We recently returned from our annual holiday to Spain (photographs coming soon..), this one distinguished by it being the first time Donna's parents and sister had been there. We hoped it would be a holiday of part adventure, culture and relaxation. It was all those things, not always in equal measure.
No holiday is complete without going through a bit of old fashioned tourist-fleecing. Three quite different places managed to make us part with more than their share of our hard-earned cash.
Madrid: Bar 'Iowa'
Just off the Gran Via in central Madrid, with one of the only outdoor terraces nearby, I had a feeling it was going to be an old-fashioned tourist trap. Still, with the table of Mexicans drinking extra-large pale beer next to us, and the hookers plying their trade during the daylight hours a few feet away, I hoped the three of us (me, Donna, her sister) might escape unscathed. The career waiter tried to order for us, we countered with what we actually wanted. The
jamón was the cheap and cheerful kind, getting dry from being left out too long, a plate of manchego of the simplest sort, and the single melon order came as three large slices, tasty, washed down with some
tinto de verano (cheap wine and lemonade). It all went sour when he tried to charge us 53 euros for something that should have been 20, 25 euros tops. I complained about the obvious tourist prices, he tried to tell us the jamón was the finest,
de ibérico, and challenged us to compare what he charged us with what was on the menu inside. He was a seasoned pro. We bitched and moaned but forked over the cash. At least we got a good show from the daytime hookers, watching them pick up trade (one guy afterwards escaped into the subway, smoking a cigarette. Another young man hired their services, in good physical shape except he was missing his arms), which almost made it worth it.
Xátiva: Hostería Mont Sant
This hotel, featured in the otherwise reliable Sawday's Special Places To Stay, came with accolades in all the guide books, prizes and awards and all that, and a price tag to match. Located half way up the hill from the village to its ancient Castle, it was superbly located (though the drive through the narrow village streets on the way up was harrowing to say the least). We picked it after several days of heavy cultural tourism as we were in need of a place where we could relax by the pool in the morning and the Mediterranean beach in the afternoon.
Maybe it was the way they left us to drag our luggage up the hill the quarter of a mile to the rooms (the row of connected rooms, in a separate building resembling a large outhouse, that they charitably called cabins). Maybe it was the front desk attendant who didn't look at you directly and who couldn't keep track of anything, least of which the four times we asked for towels without receiving any, culminating in a 1am trip when he asked me if I was sure I'd looked inside all the cupboards? Maybe it was the feeling of a place that had no real competition, received all the accolades, and no longer felt like it needed to try any more?
Was it
fine (my favourite damning with faint praise)? Yes. Was it worth 160+ euros a night? Err,
no.
Las Pedroñeras: Las Rejas
If you read somewhere that there was an above-average place to eat called The French Laundry, and it happened to lie along the path of your trip from point A to point B, how you would feel when you walked in to find a place that charged $250 for its tasting menu? If you didn't know that it was considered the finest restaurant in America, and one of the top five in the world, would you feel misled and cheated out of a lot of money?
This is the problem that faced us on our way from Valencia to Madrid, crossing the immense plains of La Mancha, except that instead of The French Laundry, we wandered into Las Rejas in the utterly unremarkable village of Las Pedroñeras. We wanted to eat somewhere nice for lunch, somewhere other than the roadside picnic table or the bog standard Spanish bar. An online search seemingly hit jackpot.
We were a little taken aback when the restaurant menu (lunchtime, let's not forget) had an 80 euro tasting menu, a 65 euro Menú del Día, and an a la carte menu that charged 24 euros for a small plate of decent but ordinary manchego cheese, and few things less than 35 euros. The pushy, arrogant waiters, forcing us all into a corner where if we didn't all order the daily menu as a table then we couldn't order it at all. Where, despite our protestations, we were pushed to order a magnum bottle of wine (at lunch!), and met with obvious disdain when we wanted to order just a couple of starters and share ("are you sure you don't want to order more? There's not very much there". Needless to say it was plenty of food). Where every bottle of water and piece of bread was overcharged to the max.
We enjoy interesting places and culinary adventures. Donna and I are happy to pay for unusual, high quality restaurants. When people ask "was it worth it at the French Laundry?", the fact is that if you're ready to spend over $300 a person for a meal, your sense of what things are worth is less about individual plates of food and more about a whole experience, which you either value before going inside and are therefore willing to pay for, or not. The same way I can't fathom spending that kind of money on a ticket to a football match, but many other people feel differently.
What I keep coming back to, less than the actual cost of the meal, was the way in which the waiters wanted to force us to experience the restaurant on their terms (which just happened to add on euros left and right). Aside from souring our experience of the otherwise excellent food, it implies both an arrogance and an insecurity about the food. And though the chef Manuel de la Osa
might have been crowned chef of the year in Spain for several years, considering that his restaurant was full of French, English and a small group of wandering Americans, I wonder what might happen if he lowered his prices, let the place breathe a little, and let a few of his fellow manchegan villagers through the doors, see what they have to say about not being able to order the Menú del Día the way they like it.